Recklessly Thirty

Here you go, y'all! The long awaited post about the most absurd things I think, say and do. Things that sometimes I can't even say I think before I do. Why make you wait any longer?... Sometimes I ... Make up my own little traditions. Like every year at Christmas time when it comes time to put up the tree, I pour myself a glass of wine, crank up the Christmas tunes (my favorite is the Elvis Christmas album), and after its up and gorgeously lighting up the room I put on a Christmas movie and make some popcorn! Tell me that doesn't sound perfect!... Or every fall when the CMA awards are on I pour myself a glass of wine and watch from start to finish my favorite artists win and perform their awesome songs!... Hmmm...Both involve wine... Sometimes I ... Have really stinky feet. Hey you try wearing flats without socks in the summer. I mean do I really have to give an explanation? It's the truth and I'll leave it at that. Sometimes I ... Try the whole healthy ki

It burns... The tears I choke back to fight my breaking down in front of close family and friends. How do you dry your face off after a shower when your tears just continue to soak it? How do you sleep when your chest hurts because your heart is so heavy and when you close your eyes all you see is that final image? I don't know how I will ever pull through this loss. I know that I will, but the how is unimaginable.  My mother fought for good health and a normal life for almost 15 years. She battled breast cancer off and on facing radiation and chemotherapy twice, amongst the hundreds of doctor appointments and blood work and tests.  When I say she was a warrior, there is no other word to define her. She fought so hard and yet not once asked "why me?". She always pushed on. Keeping, us, her family, as her strength and light at the end of such a dreary tunnel.  The house has been full of family the last couple of days and friends have come by too. Old pictures have been sca

Friday was just a few days after the one year anniversary of the passing of my oldest brother. One year since my heart has never felt so heavy and hurt. One year... It went so fast! I had stayed home from work Friday so that I could assist my dad in taking my mom to the Cleveland Clinic for an appointment with her oncologist. Once my mom realized that attending her appointment served no purpose in her deteriorating condition, the three of us stayed home. I was pleased to be there throughout the day to help my dad with little odds and ends. He truly needed the help. However, some of it was tough to watch and do, so I needed to take my mind off of it. Later in the day when family came by to visit her, I took it upon myself to take a bike escape. A good ride, in the crisp, fall air would do me some good. I changed and was headed to the bike trail before I knew it. I was dressed for the cooler weather. I wore gloves and a long sleeve shirt to protect me from the bitter bite the wind

"Let me steal from your lungs a breath. Let me run my fingers across your chest.  Let me study your figure while you stand tall.  Let me love you, flaws and all."     I posted this quote yesterday on my social medias, but today I can't get the quote off of my mind. I'm in love with it. I feel as if it describes, so eloquently, what love should look like. Everyone deserves to be loved, baggage/ flaws and all. It's a crying shame my generation just doesn't believe in such beauty in love or even words anymore! I will find this one day. Hopefully you will too!

There are those times you need your best friend to really be there for you and when they are and they completely hear you out and are your shoulder to lean and cry on you're left feeling very grateful. But sometimes your best friend just needs you to be there for her 113%. For me this moment happened back in March when a relationship she was in was breaking her amazing, kind, and loving heart. I did what I could to console her. I was able to relate to her situation quite a bit having gone through such a similar breakup. However, when Dee got the invite to her oldest, childhood friends wedding, she knew she didn't want to go alone and the relationship she was in was already over. This is where my adventurous side comes out. Sort of. I told her that I would be her plus one to the wedding if she didn't mind taking her best friend as her date! She accepted my offer and the last weekend of September was set aside for a little road trip to Waupaca, Wisconsin.  It start

Not one soul will forget where they were in 2001 when our nation stood still . Me, I was in my 10th grade history class with Mr. Jackson. I remember him being so sad and angry. His facial expression said so much back then that I, at 15, just could not understand. I remember watching the news the whole day with my best friends, afraid of another attack. Little did I know the lives of my generation would never be the same again! September 11, 2001 will forever break my heart. Because of this image... This is what I watched that morning. The second plane hit one of the twin towers.  I can't even describe the chills I get and the tears that flood my eyes just seeing this image! This image though: Is why every life matters. With all the garbage going around these days about people thinking certain lives don't matter, this image shows it all. We came together to protect and to aid one another. That day, we stood tall, proud to be American ! We ALL matter!!  We are Americans .

I have written before about escaping . When I lived in Tennessee it was a lot easier to just get in my car, drive into the mountainous area where my favorite lake was, lose cell service, and hide for a weekend. Living back in Ohio has made it a little more difficult to escape to anywhere. Life has been very crazy this summer. One of my best friends and I, however, found a great escape. We kept saying we wanted to work out, which I've even stated on my 30 before 30 list that I wanted to work out more, and we found a way that wasn't too much or too little. Bicycling There's a bike trail that runs north and south about 2 miles from where I live so we ride over to the trail and usually head north to get a little exercise and catch up on our gossip. I have found this to be a wonderful outlet. In the beginning we called it our BBR's (Bestie Bike Rides). Now I just call it a bike escape.  When my friend can't go with me, I plug in my headphones to my iPod

I might be one of the most guilty parties when it comes to living life in fast forward. I am constantly counting down for the next great thing that's going to take place in my life. Whether it be a weekend away to see the man I date, a concert with my best friend, a night out with the girls, or something even bigger. In the last two weeks, I've had to learn, once again the hard way, that I need to slow things down in my life. The weekend will always come. The good things will flow in and I will be able to enjoy them much more with the less stress I feel.  Today my boss had to remind me to slow down . He bluntly and so very kindly told me to live in the moment. Something I used to be so good at doing.  Last week I jumped the gun on something I thought was right and I'm paying the price for it now. The anxiety ridden fear I have in the pit of my stomach is the worst because I had a good thing and probably ruined it by trying to control too much.  To the person

The best advice I can ever give is from the major lessons I've learned in my 28, almost 29, years! I don't know everything about life, but I do know that the 10 things listed below have helped shape me into who I am today, and hopefully that means a better person. If you ever listen to a word I say, let it be this: 1.) Your parents, siblings, or any family for that matter... their problems, their pasts, their debts are not your own. Move forward with the freedom of not worrying about what holds them back. Don't let it hold you back. You are great. You just have to allow yourself to be. 2.) Go out. My God, just go out and have some fun will you? Go out, have a few drinks, or don't. Go out and dance like an idiot, sing terribly at karaoke, try something new, laugh at all of the extremely silly things you said between your friends. Hell, laugh at all the stupid things other people said to you and your friends. Stay up late and don't regret a second of it

When did things change so drastically in the dating world? Why did they change? What's the matter with men and women today? We're dooming ourselves to living lives alone...  I can't say that women aren't to blame for much of this issue, but I can assure you that with my experience in the dating world, men are overflowing the cup of blame. I've talked to a few single friends lately, male and female, as well as taken friends. What I have come to know on my own baffles me. What may be worse is that I'm not that girl with horrible dating luck like I thought. My friends have it just as bad if not worse at times! I wear my heart on my sleeve. A major flaw, I understand, but I'm a hopeless romantic. I believe in love and I am that freak that loves love. I won't be saying it to just anyone but I think it's a beautiful thing that 2 people share. I can't be the only person out there with this personality type. Rejection has sadly become someth

The first time I vacationed with a friend I was a freshman in college. I went to Florida with one of my closest, college friends, Jessica. We had a blast. We didn't stay at the beach or a resort, but there was sunshine and a pool and we were thrilled to be away from Ohio! We took so many pictures and acted like fools. I will never forget that trip! A few years later my friend, Barbie, was going through a breakup. Coincidentally, I was too. The trip was only a weekend getaway to Niagra Falls, Canada but it was a healing one. She and I needed each others friendship and that weekend we laughed, we cried, we danced our butts off, and I believe we tried the calamari everywhere we ate! Best weekend getaway! My third trip was the following summer when I went with my friend Nicole to visit my friend Jen in Florida. Jen lived near the beach so every morning we'd take her to work and then sit at the beach until it was time to pick her up. That trip was so much fun! We m

It's cold . It's very quiet . I close my eyes and wonder how in the hell I got where I am at that exact moment. The moments of all of my hard work. The moments of my complete failure. Every moment in between... Watching it all like a movie behind closed eyelids. As a kid, you fall down and when you do, you're told to get up, dust yourself off and keep going. As an adult when you fall down, you might be lucky enough to have those same people in your life to tell you to get up, dust yourself off, and to keep going. Or you might not be so lucky. For me, my luck hasn't run completely dry yet. I am no stranger to making mistakes in my 20's, that's a definite. What's undefined is where my recent ones will take me, besides the obvious. When I say it's cold, I'm referring to the weather in the north. That's right. Where I'm originally from... Ohio. When I say it's quiet, I'm referencing the outdoors. Where I take my dog, numerous

If you haven't already gotten the hint that I'm somewhat of an out there kind of gal, then you clearly have not read my other "Sometimes I..." posts. Lately, when I find myself doing something obnoxious, I've taken note that I did it, jot it down in the notepad in my head and tuck it away for one more of these fun little posts! Sometimes I ... Eat raw garlic... Cloves of it. Gross right? WRONG! When I was younger, my dad always cooked with fresh garlic and while cutting it up he'd eat some of it. Naturally as I got older... well, like father like daughter! I love cooking with garlic! Yum! Sometimes I ... Catch myself in a daze. One of those ones where someone is snapping their fingers in front of your face to get you out of the day dream you've fallen so deeply into. I do it more often than I probably should. It's usually when I'm sleepy or I have a lot on my mind that I stare off into the distance and ignore every sound and action that takes

This is Dolly's world... I'm just livin' in it! For the last, oh I don't know... Let's say, 4 or 5 years I have had it in not just my head, but in my heart, that I wanted to get a dog of my own. I didn't have one growing up, but all of my friends did. Then as I've become an adult, more and more people and friends I know have a dog. I've always been an animal person, but now... Now, I get to really embrace doggy motherhood.  I knew for years that I wanted a Pomeranian. They're little. They're adorable. They're just little balls of fluff that I absolutely cannot resist!! I also knew from the start that I wanted a little female pup. Why, you may ask? Well because I knew exactly what I wanted to name the little fluffy puppy! Dolly Parton I have always liked Dolly's music and been a fan. Her life story, her adventure of getting to the place she is now at the beautiful age of 69, is so intriguing to me. She is classy, in my opi

"Stop trying to control everything and just let go" - Tyler Durden, Fight Club  Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden in Fight Club Let's face it, this is the hottest picture of Brad Pitt... Ever!  As for the quote, this is something I need to remember on a daily basis. I am someone who likes to have a plan and be in control of everything I possibly can be. Sometimes, you just have to remember that you just have to let go and let fate take it's course! 

Don't worry be happy No, seriously, drop the worries. When you find yourself stressing out about the things you have zero control over, you have got to learn to let it go I am still in the process of learning how to be free of the negative things in life that grab me by the hair and throw me down. Fortunately, over a year ago, I was informed of a silly little challenge online that is supposed to remind you every day that there is something in life worth being happy about! I did the challenge when told about it. For a little over 100 days I took a picture of something that made me happy. Some days it was the man I was dating, other days it was a meal I prepared, a candy bar, or me and a friend. I post the pictures to my Instagram page and overused the hashtags it's just one more thing that makes me happy! Recently I had found myself finding negative aspects of my days instead of positive so I decided to do the 100 Happy Days challenge again! Round two as I like to call it

Twenty something's, go out there today... Every day, and get what you want ! There is nothing in this world that will hold you back more than yourself!  Trust me, I know. Work harder to be where you want to be in life so that you can play harder when you get there!  What's motivating you today?

It is absolutely fantastic having weekends off. Sunday funday for me consists of laying in bed, munching on potato chips and binging on Lifetime movies and whatever else is on. This past Sunday I got to watch Billy Madison for probably the 40th time. I always get a good laugh out of it, but it really got my gears grinding about making a decision on whether or not I want to go back to school for a bachelors degree. When you're in junior high and high school, grown ups are always talking about how important it is to get a good education, to work hard, and to go to college to score a great job in the real world. Had I known that they weren't just blowing smoke I would have really tried harder. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and what I do. So much so that I'm working towards moving up in my field. So much so that I'm considering going back to school to further my education. {{{YIKES}}}  I was a C average student in high school. I thought I'd just bre