Get It Girl
The last thing a newly single late 20 something wants to hear is "There's plenty of fish in the sea". Yeah, I get it, there's tons of dudes out there just waiting to hit on me in the most annoying, inappropriate ways possible! I don't even want to think about another man right now, let alone being hit on by them!
A breakup, no matter the person, hurts! No matter the age, you ache inside. I have spent the last few weeks feeling completely alone. I shut myself off, and out from others. I've blamed myself, it's who I am, it's what I've always done. All I've wanted to do is cry or sleep. I haven't had much of an appetite (Might I suggest a breakup for your next diet?). I have been repeatedly asking the questions, what can I do to fix this? How could this happen to me? I gave him my whole heart. He gave it back, the broken part. Now that I'm back to sleeping alone, I sat up late in bed last night, put my hands together, and prayed. Something I've been trying to do more as I get older. I started sobbing. I was asking God the same questions I have been troubling my own mind with the last few weeks. Today I woke up feeling sad. Very sad. I sent out a few texts asking for pick-me-ups from certain friends. The most important text message I sent was to my closest childhood friend. Now, I'm looking to this friend for my positive outlook and human growth.
In middle school I met one of my dearest, oldest friends. I watched this girl go through a lifestyle much different than my upbringing. Today I could not be more proud of the woman she has become. A few years after high school she joined the Marines. She's since completed her service to our country, made right with family and friends, taken college courses and as of recent, decided to start up a life coaching/workout/nutrition planning business. She's been an inspiration to many people, not just myself. What gets me most is her strength. I've watched her work her way from the ground up and she has never let anything get her down. She has had a few failed relationships, like me, however she's different. She has never let her faith or strength dwindle. Every time I see a post to Facebook from this amazing, 20 something, friend of mine, I have to read it!
This woman has given me a gift today. We spoke for nearly an hour on my lunch break about how sad I've felt. She made some amazing points throughout our conversation. She told me that first and foremost, my situation is not my fault and to stop being so hard on myself. She gave me tough love. She told me to stop playing the victim. That I make my life how I want it. I need to start responding to things that happen rather than reacting. To better myself. This is my chance to improve on the woman that I want to be and learn more about myself than I already know. She said that now is the time that I get to figure out what I really want in my life. Granted I already know so much of what I want, but now that it's just me, I get to have and do so much more that I want! There is nothing holding me back but myself. I have never had a fantastic image of myself, and that's not just physically. I now have the chance to fall in love with myself. Today, I vow to really make this happen.
So while I've been wanting to sleep through my alarm and skip working for days...weeks...While I have been wanting to cry at the thought of no one holding me while the tears fall down my face. I am so lucky to have been awakened from what I thought was a nightmare of a world that terrifies me without him by my side. Now I'm going to go out and live again. Really live! Not just exist.
I lost a great love, an amazing man that does not realize yet how much he truly deserves in this world! I pray he finds all the happiness and love God has to offer (even if he doesn't believe in my religion), even if the happiness and love doesn't come from me. A part of me will always love him. I will send him love and light every time I think of him! Just because I lost him though, does not mean my world is over. I have so many more things in this life of mine to be grateful for. Dear God, I am so thankful for all I have been blessed with! Someday I'll have everything I've been wanting in my life. It's just not time yet. I still have more of my life to live, love, learn about, and truly enjoy!
I wish I could repay you for the strength that I hope you realize that you've passed onto me! I think the world of you D! It's time to start thinking the world of myself.
A breakup, no matter the person, hurts! No matter the age, you ache inside. I have spent the last few weeks feeling completely alone. I shut myself off, and out from others. I've blamed myself, it's who I am, it's what I've always done. All I've wanted to do is cry or sleep. I haven't had much of an appetite (Might I suggest a breakup for your next diet?). I have been repeatedly asking the questions, what can I do to fix this? How could this happen to me? I gave him my whole heart. He gave it back, the broken part. Now that I'm back to sleeping alone, I sat up late in bed last night, put my hands together, and prayed. Something I've been trying to do more as I get older. I started sobbing. I was asking God the same questions I have been troubling my own mind with the last few weeks. Today I woke up feeling sad. Very sad. I sent out a few texts asking for pick-me-ups from certain friends. The most important text message I sent was to my closest childhood friend. Now, I'm looking to this friend for my positive outlook and human growth.
In middle school I met one of my dearest, oldest friends. I watched this girl go through a lifestyle much different than my upbringing. Today I could not be more proud of the woman she has become. A few years after high school she joined the Marines. She's since completed her service to our country, made right with family and friends, taken college courses and as of recent, decided to start up a life coaching/workout/nutrition planning business. She's been an inspiration to many people, not just myself. What gets me most is her strength. I've watched her work her way from the ground up and she has never let anything get her down. She has had a few failed relationships, like me, however she's different. She has never let her faith or strength dwindle. Every time I see a post to Facebook from this amazing, 20 something, friend of mine, I have to read it!
This woman has given me a gift today. We spoke for nearly an hour on my lunch break about how sad I've felt. She made some amazing points throughout our conversation. She told me that first and foremost, my situation is not my fault and to stop being so hard on myself. She gave me tough love. She told me to stop playing the victim. That I make my life how I want it. I need to start responding to things that happen rather than reacting. To better myself. This is my chance to improve on the woman that I want to be and learn more about myself than I already know. She said that now is the time that I get to figure out what I really want in my life. Granted I already know so much of what I want, but now that it's just me, I get to have and do so much more that I want! There is nothing holding me back but myself. I have never had a fantastic image of myself, and that's not just physically. I now have the chance to fall in love with myself. Today, I vow to really make this happen.
So while I've been wanting to sleep through my alarm and skip working for days...weeks...While I have been wanting to cry at the thought of no one holding me while the tears fall down my face. I am so lucky to have been awakened from what I thought was a nightmare of a world that terrifies me without him by my side. Now I'm going to go out and live again. Really live! Not just exist.
I lost a great love, an amazing man that does not realize yet how much he truly deserves in this world! I pray he finds all the happiness and love God has to offer (even if he doesn't believe in my religion), even if the happiness and love doesn't come from me. A part of me will always love him. I will send him love and light every time I think of him! Just because I lost him though, does not mean my world is over. I have so many more things in this life of mine to be grateful for. Dear God, I am so thankful for all I have been blessed with! Someday I'll have everything I've been wanting in my life. It's just not time yet. I still have more of my life to live, love, learn about, and truly enjoy!
I wish I could repay you for the strength that I hope you realize that you've passed onto me! I think the world of you D! It's time to start thinking the world of myself.
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