No Validation Necessary
I watched a video tonight of a woman I was fortunate to meet around my thirtieth birthday. She was at one point in time a fitness competitor and model in California. Her video was not posted to social media, though. She has deleted them for the sole purpose of not feeling the need to be validated by others via likes and comments. A mutual contact came across the video of her somehow, as she expressed her feelings to former followers about the unhappiness that was her life in So Cal. I don't want to get into all the meaningful details of her video, but let me just say that her words are sticking with me. No matter how many followers, likes, and competitions she placed in, she was tired of being told what people didn't like about her body and making herself to believe her body was never good enough. She made it a point to say how important it is for us, as women, to empower one another.
The friend I met this beautiful woman through is a very enthusiastic promoter of self love. She posted recently on her Facebook about showing her entire body appreciation. Part by part. After reading that post weeks ago, and watching this woman's video, I started thinking about how much self loathing I have shown my own body. It's never been a secret that I battle how I look every day. So with determination to find a way to empower not just myself, but other women, I decided to do something about it...Sort of!
Tonight I sat in a bubble bath with a glass of wine. After amusing myself with reading for a few moments, I set down my wine, closed my eyes and laid back. I relaxed, took deep breaths, and tried to release some negativity from my body. The body that's long, bony, and somewhat gangley. Lets face it, a bathtub was not meant for tall people. So partially because I was sweating my ass off, and because I was uncomfortable, I got on with bathing myself and got out of the shower. I watched myself in my steamed up mirror as I dried off each part of my body. I looked at myself from head to toe and found a way to enjoy each part of my own mass.
I appreciated my teal colored nail polish on my toes even if it was chipped. I dried off my hands and arms and looked closely at my scars from living life a little harshly and just from being clumsy at times. I put lotion on my legs and felt gratitude for the soft skin I was feeling. I gently dried the rest of my body because when I looked closely, I had a pinkish tan color from spending too much time in the sun the day before. I noticed my curves (the ones I have) and for once didn't feel as if my body was the last thing I wanted to look at. I brushed my hair and felt the sting on my scalp from sunburn and remembered the enjoyment I felt basking in that light. Lastly, I put lotion on my face and slowly rubbed over scars from acne. Flaws that prove I'm human and just like any other woman or man out there.
I'm trying so hard to love myself more. It's a goal I've set for myself over the last few years. I finally feel like I'm coming into my own skin and take pleasure in how I look and feel. It's a damn shame it took me till I was thirty to feel this way.
Though I know I don't have the opportunity to thank the woman who spent my thirtieth birthday with me, for posting her video, I appreciate the reminder to love myself. I vow to try my best not to compare myself to those around me and continue taking pride in who I am as I learn more about me. It won't be an easy task by any means, but I'm willing to try. Just another step in making a better version of me.
The friend I met this beautiful woman through is a very enthusiastic promoter of self love. She posted recently on her Facebook about showing her entire body appreciation. Part by part. After reading that post weeks ago, and watching this woman's video, I started thinking about how much self loathing I have shown my own body. It's never been a secret that I battle how I look every day. So with determination to find a way to empower not just myself, but other women, I decided to do something about it...Sort of!
Tonight I sat in a bubble bath with a glass of wine. After amusing myself with reading for a few moments, I set down my wine, closed my eyes and laid back. I relaxed, took deep breaths, and tried to release some negativity from my body. The body that's long, bony, and somewhat gangley. Lets face it, a bathtub was not meant for tall people. So partially because I was sweating my ass off, and because I was uncomfortable, I got on with bathing myself and got out of the shower. I watched myself in my steamed up mirror as I dried off each part of my body. I looked at myself from head to toe and found a way to enjoy each part of my own mass.
I appreciated my teal colored nail polish on my toes even if it was chipped. I dried off my hands and arms and looked closely at my scars from living life a little harshly and just from being clumsy at times. I put lotion on my legs and felt gratitude for the soft skin I was feeling. I gently dried the rest of my body because when I looked closely, I had a pinkish tan color from spending too much time in the sun the day before. I noticed my curves (the ones I have) and for once didn't feel as if my body was the last thing I wanted to look at. I brushed my hair and felt the sting on my scalp from sunburn and remembered the enjoyment I felt basking in that light. Lastly, I put lotion on my face and slowly rubbed over scars from acne. Flaws that prove I'm human and just like any other woman or man out there.
I'm trying so hard to love myself more. It's a goal I've set for myself over the last few years. I finally feel like I'm coming into my own skin and take pleasure in how I look and feel. It's a damn shame it took me till I was thirty to feel this way.
Though I know I don't have the opportunity to thank the woman who spent my thirtieth birthday with me, for posting her video, I appreciate the reminder to love myself. I vow to try my best not to compare myself to those around me and continue taking pride in who I am as I learn more about me. It won't be an easy task by any means, but I'm willing to try. Just another step in making a better version of me.
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