Hold On Tight

A Saturday afternoon just laying quietly by the pool at my apartment complex. Just me, my headphones, the lone woman across the pool from me, and go figure, these damn thoughts. The song is a Sara Bareilles song and it's making me feel reminiscent of the time I'm about to be leaving behind...

My twenties!

Letting go... People tell us to do it along the way. To leave behind all the bad, negative, unhappy moments, people, and things. I didn't learn until my late 20's, how to really do this. Even still, just a week or so away from turning 30, I'm  telling myself to let go of stuff. 

Let go of the early 20's, Jill. Let go of your mid 20's and the last few years too! 

Let go of the heartbreaks you had. The first real heartbreak that led you to push yourself harder for everything you wanted. And look at what you had achieved because of it. Let go of the heartbreak that you thought would never heal because it did, and thank God you didn't end up with an uneducated, unhappy, lazy man. Let go of the man who you still think of from time to time. He didn't want you. You will be more than enough for someone else. He just had heartache to let go of too! 

I'm telling myself to let go of her hand. To let my mom walk with the angels among us. I'm telling myself she's with me every day... Because she is!

I learn every day, something new. I learn from the many mistakes I've made in previous jobs. I learn from the mistakes I've made in friendships past and present. I'm holding so tight to everything I currently have as I walk, happily, into my thirties. Holding the hand of things I should no longer be grasping to. 

There's no need to hold on tight anymore!

I am a happy woman. Happily single (most days)... Ah hell singularity sucks pretty big balls at this stage of life, but I have so much good in my life right now!

I have a dog that I look forward to getting home to every single day. I have a really good job with opportunities to expand my career. I have another job that allows me to release my emotions and teach children a passion I've had for a lifetime. I have a home that I pay way too much in rent for, but it's a roof over my head, nonetheless. 

While those things matter so much in my life, the intangibles are what keep me smiling and moving forward with enthusiasm to turn 30! 

I have my health and my happiness. I have grown closer with my family and that alone makes my heart so full. My father, brothers, sister-in-law, and my little nephews mean the world to me. I have grown my friendships with my closest friends. Though we've shared the downs along with the ups, I'm learning and I'm trying to grow into a better person still. 

I'm a very lucky woman to have what I do. Here's to another 10 years of learning, loving, and living this beautiful little insane life. May my heart continue to fill up and mend all cracks and strains along the way!