Recklessly Thirty

Friday was just a few days after the one year anniversary of the passing of my oldest brother. One year since my heart has never felt so heavy and hurt. One year... It went so fast! I had stayed home from work Friday so that I could assist my dad in taking my mom to the Cleveland Clinic for an appointment with her oncologist. Once my mom realized that attending her appointment served no purpose in her deteriorating condition, the three of us stayed home. I was pleased to be there throughout the day to help my dad with little odds and ends. He truly needed the help. However, some of it was tough to watch and do, so I needed to take my mind off of it. Later in the day when family came by to visit her, I took it upon myself to take a bike escape. A good ride, in the crisp, fall air would do me some good. I changed and was headed to the bike trail before I knew it. I was dressed for the cooler weather. I wore gloves and a long sleeve shirt to protect me from the bitter bite ...

"Let me steal from your lungs a breath. Let me run my fingers across your chest.  Let me study your figure while you stand tall.  Let me love you, flaws and all."     I posted this quote yesterday on my social medias, but today I can't get the quote off of my mind. I'm in love with it. I feel as if it describes, so eloquently, what love should look like. Everyone deserves to be loved, baggage/ flaws and all. It's a crying shame my generation just doesn't believe in such beauty in love or even words anymore! I will find this one day. Hopefully you will too!

There are those times you need your best friend to really be there for you and when they are and they completely hear you out and are your shoulder to lean and cry on you're left feeling very grateful. But sometimes your best friend just needs you to be there for her 113%. For me this moment happened back in March when a relationship she was in was breaking her amazing, kind, and loving heart. I did what I could to console her. I was able to relate to her situation quite a bit having gone through such a similar breakup. However, when Dee got the invite to her oldest, childhood friends wedding, she knew she didn't want to go alone and the relationship she was in was already over. This is where my adventurous side comes out. Sort of. I told her that I would be her plus one to the wedding if she didn't mind taking her best friend as her date! She accepted my offer and the last weekend of September was set aside for a little road trip to Waupaca, Wisconsin.  I...

Not one soul will forget where they were in 2001 when our nation stood still . Me, I was in my 10th grade history class with Mr. Jackson. I remember him being so sad and angry. His facial expression said so much back then that I, at 15, just could not understand. I remember watching the news the whole day with my best friends, afraid of another attack. Little did I know the lives of my generation would never be the same again! September 11, 2001 will forever break my heart. Because of this image... This is what I watched that morning. The second plane hit one of the twin towers.  I can't even describe the chills I get and the tears that flood my eyes just seeing this image! This image though: Is why every life matters. With all the garbage going around these days about people thinking certain lives don't matter, this image shows it all. We came together to protect and to aid one another. That day, we stood tall, proud to be American ! We ALL matter!!  We are Americans ...

I have written before about escaping . When I lived in Tennessee it was a lot easier to just get in my car, drive into the mountainous area where my favorite lake was, lose cell service, and hide for a weekend. Living back in Ohio has made it a little more difficult to escape to anywhere. Life has been very crazy this summer. One of my best friends and I, however, found a great escape. We kept saying we wanted to work out, which I've even stated on my 30 before 30 list that I wanted to work out more, and we found a way that wasn't too much or too little. Bicycling There's a bike trail that runs north and south about 2 miles from where I live so we ride over to the trail and usually head north to get a little exercise and catch up on our gossip. I have found this to be a wonderful outlet. In the beginning we called it our BBR's (Bestie Bike Rides). Now I just call it a bike escape.  When my friend can't go with me, I plug in my headphones to my iPod...

I might be one of the most guilty parties when it comes to living life in fast forward. I am constantly counting down for the next great thing that's going to take place in my life. Whether it be a weekend away to see the man I date, a concert with my best friend, a night out with the girls, or something even bigger. In the last two weeks, I've had to learn, once again the hard way, that I need to slow things down in my life. The weekend will always come. The good things will flow in and I will be able to enjoy them much more with the less stress I feel.  Today my boss had to remind me to slow down . He bluntly and so very kindly told me to live in the moment. Something I used to be so good at doing.  Last week I jumped the gun on something I thought was right and I'm paying the price for it now. The anxiety ridden fear I have in the pit of my stomach is the worst because I had a good thing and probably ruined it by trying to control too much.  To the pers...

The best advice I can ever give is from the major lessons I've learned in my 28, almost 29, years! I don't know everything about life, but I do know that the 10 things listed below have helped shape me into who I am today, and hopefully that means a better person. If you ever listen to a word I say, let it be this: 1.) Your parents, siblings, or any family for that matter... their problems, their pasts, their debts are not your own. Move forward with the freedom of not worrying about what holds them back. Don't let it hold you back. You are great. You just have to allow yourself to be. 2.) Go out. My God, just go out and have some fun will you? Go out, have a few drinks, or don't. Go out and dance like an idiot, sing terribly at karaoke, try something new, laugh at all of the extremely silly things you said between your friends. Hell, laugh at all the stupid things other people said to you and your friends. Stay up late and don't regret a second of it...