Rewind For the Recap

Allow me to rewind a little bit so I can give you my end of 2015 recap! I have been on a never ending merry go round for the last two months and unable to write. Perhaps lack of motivation hit me...

If the one thing I have learned in the last two years is to just do me, then damn it I believe it's time to start! One thing I have always loved was when my aunt would tell me that when I say I'm going to do something I do it. That's why she's always had such faith in me. 

It was right around the time that mom passed away that I just stopped caring. If you didn't like what I said, that was fine, you didn't have to. I never fell off the deep end (yet) and I wasn't hurting anyone... Not intentionally at least! 

I decided that doing the things I wanted to do needed to come first. Even if that meant missing a friends holiday party or making long drives alone. I wasn't going to put myself second, third, or even fourth anymore. 

In 2014, at Christmas time, I compiled a list of all things Christmas that I had wanted to do for Christmas of 2015. Of course life happened and plans altered. However I am proud to say that I stuck to my guns and I completed much of what I wanted to do to finish my year. Regardless of the fact that my heart was not in the Christmas spirit. 

I went to Nashville the first weekend in December. I visited some friends and spent some time alone in a hotel room just sleeping and crying because, well, my heart was just so heavy. I did however go see ICE at the Opryland hotel with my friend and it made me happy. ICE was something my mom loved to see while I lived there! 

New York City was the another thing on my list of Christmassy stuff to do. As an adult, I've been to NYC 3 times but never at Christmas. So I made a last minute decision to go to NYC...By myself. I got a hotel room and went from there. I spent 3 days wandering around the city, shopping, and eating some of the best foods!

I spoiled myself rotten and bought tickets to see The Rockettes Christmas Spectacular, The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, and the New York City ballet performance of The Nutcracker. I was in my glory. I even saw the big tree at Rockefeller Center and grabbed a coffee and strolled around Central Park. I knew I needed the time to myself so being alone in the big city, navigating my way through the subways on my own was liberating and exciting. I needed a little excitement after the year I had. 

Though my holiday was ever so heartbreaking, I have to admit it was sort of a success. I forced myself to be present. I enjoyed my alone time and I am so happy that I went.