I've Got a Fever

Next month I am turning 28. I'm closing in on 30. Just two more years to go and the time everyone expects you to stop having fun, your life completely together, and settled down with your other half is here. Let me make this clear; I am almost 28, single, a total train wreck and nowhere near having my life together. 

Did you ever hear that Baz Luhrmann, Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen song? First of all, listen to it. There are so many things the man says in it that are just real and true and until you've lived a little, you don't believe what he says. Most importantly he says,

"Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life... The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't." 

Ok, now I'm not so concerned. 

Right now, more like the last few years, my Facebook feed and my life in general has been filling up with nothing but pictures of engagement rings, wedding days, and babies. Lots of babies. Am I happy for them? Hell yea I'm happy for these people. They've found love and happiness. So many people don't get to experience all the beautiful things in life like that! Am I jealous? Hell yes I am! Saying this around any married friends or friends with babies seems like a bad idea. Every reaction I get when I say I can't wait to get married or have a baby someday is, " you're still young" or "don't rush things". Really? I know I'm still young. I joke so much about nearing 30 and feeling old, but goodness, I know that I'm young! As far as don't rush things, I get that but who's rushing? All I said is I am excited for that part of my life to start! What is so wrong with admitting that? 

Shouldn't it be good that I'm anxious to start the part of my life where I settle down with not just a career, but a man that is just as crazy about me as I am for him, and to raise a child with all that love? I think it's great! In fact I would hope it to be a norm that a girl in her late 20's would want this. Do you know that because I want all of this, my previous relationship is dunzo? Talk about making me feel guilty right? From time to time I do feel guilty because I wanted that so badly with my ex, but I like to think I'm far too proud to feel guilty anymore over it. I am a strong, independent woman who knows exactly what she wants in life. 

I don't think I have ever been more proud of myself though. I know what it is I want in my future. I am not ashamed to say that I want the job, the man, the house, the dogs, the big yard, and the kids. Someday. Someday does not mean today when I say I'm excited for it all, dear friends! 

It's no secret that I've got the fever. Especially not a secret now.