Recklessly Thirty

Here you go, y'all! The long awaited post about the most absurd things I think, say and do. Things that sometimes I can't even say I think before I do. Why make you wait any longer?... Sometimes I ... Make up my own little traditions. Like every year at Christmas time when it comes time to put up the tree, I pour myself a glass of wine, crank up the Christmas tunes (my favorite is the Elvis Christmas album), and after its up and gorgeously lighting up the room I put on a Christmas movie and make some popcorn! Tell me that doesn't sound perfect!... Or every fall when the CMA awards are on I pour myself a glass of wine and watch from start to finish my favorite artists win and perform their awesome songs!... Hmmm...Both involve wine... Sometimes I ... Have really stinky feet. Hey you try wearing flats without socks in the summer. I mean do I really have to give an explanation? It's the truth and I'll leave it at that. Sometimes I ... Try the whole healthy ki...

It burns... The tears I choke back to fight my breaking down in front of close family and friends. How do you dry your face off after a shower when your tears just continue to soak it? How do you sleep when your chest hurts because your heart is so heavy and when you close your eyes all you see is that final image? I don't know how I will ever pull through this loss. I know that I will, but the how is unimaginable.  My mother fought for good health and a normal life for almost 15 years. She battled breast cancer off and on facing radiation and chemotherapy twice, amongst the hundreds of doctor appointments and blood work and tests.  When I say she was a warrior, there is no other word to define her. She fought so hard and yet not once asked "why me?". She always pushed on. Keeping, us, her family, as her strength and light at the end of such a dreary tunnel.  The house has been full of family the last couple of days and friends have come by too. Old pictures have been sca...